


afterLife

by nihilBliss



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Dates, Doomed Timeline(s) (Homestuck), Dream Bubbles (Homestuck), Existential Angst, Flowers, Fluff and Angst, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Hurt/Comfort, Ice Skating, Karkat Swearing, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Eridan Ampora, Other, Snow, Swearing, Trans Eridan Ampora, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:54:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23331970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nihilBliss/pseuds/nihilBliss
Summary: In death, Karkat had peace and rest like he never experienced in life. The cosmic stakes were gone, some other Karkat's problem. Death also gave Karkat opportunities he'd never had in life, like experiencing the romantic quadrants.And along comes his prospective matesprit, Eridan Ampora, ready for a second date.It's time to go skating.
Relationships: Eridan Ampora/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	afterLife

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sheepiisms](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheepiisms/gifts).



Dream bubbles were mutable, so Karkat's choice to spend his afterlife somewhere identical to his old hive was conscious. It had advantages. Familiarity and empty routine offered Karkat comfort he'd never had in life. There was truth in the humans' RIP platitude: in death, he had peace and rest aplenty. 

Death also gave him a chance to experience all of the romantic quadrants firsthand.

The doorbell rang, and his pump biscuit raced. He peered through the reinforced ganderportal in his door, just to make sure. There stood Eridan, chewing their lip, one hand crushing a bouquet of flowers, the other curled into a fist at their side. Karkat wasn't sure whether he wanted to open the door right away or to watch for a moment, just to see all the little ways Eridan moved when they thought they were alone. He could watch for hours if he wanted, and Eridan would stay there, waiting for the door to open, waiting to shower Karkat with his custom blend of arrogance and affection. Waiting for the chance at this second date. Waiting.

Karkat didn't wait. He yanked the door open, scowling as if he needed to hide what he'd been thinking beneath a blanket of anger. It's not like Eridan could see into his thinkpan. Eridan stared, holding the flowers to their chest, trying and failing to look unfazed. They wondered how they could have already fucked up and soured their maybe-hopefully-please-matesprit's mood without saying a word.

"ARE THOSE FOR ME?"

Karkat was pointing. Eridan looked down - the flowers. Their arm shot out, all but shoving them into Karkat's face.

"wwhatevver, they're the best i could find, and if you don't like them, you can fuck off," said Eridan. "it's not like there are florassassin bunkers in evvery other dream bubble out here so i had ta do the best i could, an i already spent hours finding these fuckin things. so you'd better be grateful, or..."

Karkat took the flowers and stormed inside, stuffing them into a mostly-empty bottle of grubsauce, the most vase-like thing in easy reach of his recreation block. He stopped and looked at them, really looked for the first time. Little purple flowers outnumbered much larger red ones, and he didn't recognize either as Alternian.

"THEY'RE GREAT," he said. Eridan, still in the doorway, blinked.

"wwell a course they are," they said. "i picked them."

Karkat groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. But he kept staring at the bouquet, turning over the mass of feelings they formed within him like a puzzle box. They were Relevant in a way not much was out here, and he couldn't let them go.

"anywway, you wwanna get going? wwe gotta find the right dream bubble," said Eridan, offering their hand. Karkat stared at it as if it might grow fangs and bite him. Then he thought about the prospect of holding Eridan's hand in public. What that would feel -- look like, he meant. What it would look like. Karkat stuffed both hands in his pockets and stared at his shoes.

"LEAD THE WAY," he said. Eridan's hand sank to their side, and they turned away from Karkat’s door before their expression could fall with it, and they started walking. And Karkat followed.

* * *

Cold air sat still and heavy over the snowy outdoor recreational space, and the echo of frolicking trolls scored the scene. The chill brought a sense of peace and calm to the dream bubble, casting the subtle spell that winter nights so often do. Karkat and Eridan trouped along the cobblestone path, toward a golden glow. There, in a low spot in the land, ghosts gathered around a frozen-solid pond. Lattices all around held strings of lights overhead. Some of those already present skated, alone, in pairs, or in groups, while others sat on the benches alongside the pond, or bustled in and out of a wooden lean-to that billowed steam from its doorway. Still others had set up quaint booths to peddle wares.

"FUCKING DAMMIT," Karkat swore as much under his breath as he was capable. One stand had a sign above reading "skate rental," and it was staffed by a dead Gamzee. Was this a crazed, murderous Gamzee, or was this a stoned and useless Gamzee? Neither option was pleasant. Karkat took a deep breath, bracing himself for a long and useless interlude, and...

A sack of coins hit the ramshackle wooden counter. Eridan stared at Gamzee, expression somewhere between impassive and irritated.

"twwo pairs a skates," they said. "keep your horrible face-hole from making the stupid sounds you call talking, and you can keep the change."

Gamzee opened his mouth, but he said nothing. Eridan clicked a golden ring against the counter. This snapped Gamzee out of his reverie. He snatched the sack and produced a pair of ice skates, which Eridan took with a huff. They took Karkat's hand and led the way toward the ice rink, nose all but in the air. Karkat stared at Eridan, not quite sure how he felt about what just took place. Eridan took a seat on a bench and offered Karkat his skates.

"YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT," Karkat said, sitting to put his skates on.   
"wwhatevver convversation you wwere about to havve wwith gamzee, nobody wwanted it to happen," they said, pulling their shoes off. "this is about you and me, not anybody else."

A warmth bloomed in Karkat's core and spread to his cheeks. This was about  _ him _ . Him especially, undivided, no underlying agenda. He pulled his skate-laces as tight as he could stand.

* * *

It wasn't as easy as that human romance cartoon made it look, but Karkat had been studying the foibles of the figure skater and his coach for some time. The basics of skating weren't too hard, though any kind of jumping belonged in the "not doing that now or any time in the foreseeable future" bin. He followed the slow swirl of the crowd around the pond. It was nice to feel the breeze in his hair as he moved, not quite alive but closer than he could remember. But, to think about it, life itself had never felt this good.

Eridan hadn't joined Karkat on the pond. They stood a few feet away from the bench, stiff-legged and sliding backwards across the ice. The crowd parted and reformed without acknowledging them. Jaw clenched, Eridan slid their feet backwards and forwards with increasing fervor to no effect. One heel pushed too hard, and Eridan crashed to the ice, face first. There was no pain, but it hurt all the more for it. 

How pathetic, Eridan thought. How predictable. How pathetically predictable. Of course they would come up with a romantic idea that wound up flat on its face within minutes. If they could get a bloody nose here, in death, well, that would be the perfect way to finish this picture of miserable, flailing incompetence. There were so many reasons they were alone. Why not add "picks shitty dates" to the list?

Then, a hand rested on their shoulder. Eridan turned their head, and, through nascent tears, saw a familiar face. 

"YOU COULD HAVE ASKED FOR HELP," said Karkat, pulling them to their feet.

"wwhatevver," said Eridan. "frozen wwater is stupid. i don't knoww wwhy i thought wwe should do this. it wwas fuckin stupid." 

But there it was: Karkat's hands, on them, touching. They shivered, pretensions to anger quivering and dropping like flies at first frost. Karkat held Eridan's hand tight and pulled them close, more than close enough to help them stand. A warm, comforting buzz of thoughts and emotions that would not articulate themselves enveloped their thinkpan like a warm recuperacoon.

"HERE, STAND LIKE THIS," said Karkat, demonstrating. "BEND YOUR KNEES A LITTLE, AND PUSH LIKE THIS, WITH THE MIDDLE OF YOUR FOOT."

Eridan sniffled, wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

"wwait a second, kar, like this?"

"JUST LIKE THAT, YEAH. THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT."

Other thoughts rose up in Karkat's thinkpan. Things like closeness. The hand he didn't grasp earlier. Making up for that. How rarely he felt the touch of another troll. He beat them all down with the task at hand.

They circled the pond, unhurried. Eridan's ankles wobbled, or his knees quivered. But every time they felt like they might fall, Karkat clutched their hand a little tighter. They slowed down, took a breath, recentered, and kept going. Skating was nothing like swimming, but it flowed in a similar way, smooth and easy, like nothing Eridan had done with their feet on the ground. It made the words come easily, even the ones that stuck on prickly thoughts.

"y'knoww, kar, i keep thinkin about howw much it sucks that wwe're ghosts," they said. "it fuckin blowws wwhen you think there's some other vversion a you and me out there doin some cosmically relevvant wwho-the-fuck-knowws-wwhat kinda cool, important stuff. but this? this ain't bad."

They squeezed Karkat's hand, chancing to turn and stare at the faint pink that played across his face, under those intense, dark-rimmed eyes. That ever-hard expression couldn't mask the softness of Karkat's features. In a way, in a very faint way, Eridan was glad Karkat always looked underslept and irked. They weren't sure they could handle what he looked like without that barbedness.

"FUCK THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF RELEVANCE OR DOOMED TIMELINES VERUS ALPHA TIMELINES OR CANON OR WHATEVER IN THE CONVOLUTED ASS-LABYRINTH OF OUR EXISTENCES YOU WANT TO CALL IT," said Karkat. "FUCK IT LIKE A LUSUS IN RUT THAT'S FOUND A PARTICULARLY FOUL-SMELLING CARCASS AND FIGURED WELL HELL THIS IS THE CLOSEST THING TO A BREEDING PARTNER I'M GOING TO GET THIS SWEEP LET'S GO TO TOWN AND BURDEN MY POOR TROLL WARD WITH THE MISERABLE AND DISGUSTING DUTY OF CLEANING THE DECAYED FLESH FROM MY MOST INTIMATE PARTS ONCE I'M DONE HAVING A STINKING ROMP IN THIS UNLUCKY CORPSE."

Eridan grimaced.

"really, kar? that wwas gross evven for you," they said.

Karkat sighed.

"SORRY," he said. "I HAVE SOME PRETTY STRONG OPINIONS ON THIS KIND OF THING."

"i could tell."

"I JUST MEAN THAT IF WE WERE WRAPPED UP IN ALL THAT BIG COSMIC SGRUB BULLFUCKERY, WOULD WE HAVE EVER HAD THE CHANCE TO DO THIS?" He sighed, and Eridan skated just a little closer. "THIS IS NICE. NICE THINGS DON'T HAPPEN TO PEOPLE WHO GET WRAPPED UP IN THE THINGS THAT DECIDE WHAT UNIVERSE GETS TO BE BORN OR WHO GETS TO RULE IT. AND AS MUCH AS I TRIED TO BE A LEADER FOR OUR SESSION, I PUT MY STRUTPOD THROUGH THAT JOB SO THOROUGHLY I HAVE SPLINTERS UP TO MY NOOK. AND I KIND OF..."

He sighed. Some of the tension on his face melted into weary sorrow, and he turned to Eridan.

"WOULD YOU THINK I'M SELFISH IF I SAID I KIND OF LIKE THIS BETTER?"

Karkat always tried to look dangerous. But he was even more dangerous with his guard down. He was beautiful. Awe threw red sparks in Eridan's thinkpan.

"no," they said, quiet. "but maybe that's because i'm selfish too."

Both looked away. But their hands pulled them closer. They said nothing for a long time. Haunting the pond as other ghosts came and went.

* * *

Somewhere away from the noise, Eridan and Karkat sat on a bench with steaming mugs of a human drink called cocoa in their hands.

Eridan broke the silence first.

"I don't actually think I'd be doin somethin important if I weren't dead," they said. "I don't think I have it in me to be a hero like you, Kar. I havven't evven met a vversion a me who isn't a self-absorbed asshole the size of a collapsed star. I see wwhy nobody evver liked me and wwhy you alwways brushed me off. i wasn't kiddin when I said i'm selfish, either. I can't get anythin right, and I don't know..."

Karkat clapped his hand across Eridan's mouth.

"QUIT FUCKING TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF LIKE THAT," Karkat said. He sounded angry, but he looked sad. "YOU THINK YOU'RE SPECIAL BECAUSE YOU HAVE FLAWS? FUCK OFF. THE WORLD WE GREW UP ON IS GONE, WE DON'T MATTER, AND ALL WE CAN DO WITH THE REST OF OUR CONFUSING, IRRELEVANT EXISTENCES IS TO FIX OUR BULLSHIT AND TRY TO WRENCH HAPPINESS FROM THE SHITREEKING MAW OF THESE DREAM BUBBLES."

Red beaded at the corners of Karkat's eyes.

"NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT MY MATESPRIT LIKE THAT," said Karkat, putting his hand back around his cocoa. "NOBODY."

Eridan pulled Karkat into a tight and desperate hug, letting their mug fall into the snow.

"i lovve you, kar," said Eridan. "i lovve you. i lovve you. i lovve you forevver, so much, so fuckin much."

They rambled flushed platitudes, shaking like earthquakes. Karkat's thinkpan overloaded, melted down. He set his mug down on the bench and hugged Eridan back.

In time, they separated, wiping tears from eyes.

"BETTER?"

Eridan nodded, smiling. They were cute when they smiled, Karkat thought. They needed to do that more; Karkat needed to make them do that more. He didn't say this out loud. Instead, he sipped his cocoa.

"WELL THAT'S COLD NOW," he said with a sigh. "I'M PICKING THE NEXT DATE, AND WE'RE DOING IT SOMEWHERE WARM SO WE DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH BULLSHIT TEMPERATURE FUCKERY FROM STUPID ARBITRARY WEATHER IN DREAM BUBBLES THAT SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE WEATHER."

"i dunno, kar, i don't think you havve it in you to pick a better date than this," said Eridan. "you'd probably come up wwith somethin boring like sittin in your recreation block and wwatchin movvies and cuddlin under a blanket until wwe fall asleep on each other."

Eridan flushed as they realized just how good an idea that was.

"WE... WE CAN DO THAT," said Karkat.

"see? i'm the best at dates. i came up wwith a perfect kar date off the top a my head."

"DON'T PUSH IT, ASSHOLE."

"wwhat, no kiss?"

Karkat groaned. He stood, turned, walked five paces away. Paused. Turned and walked back. Leaned over Eridan, soft face safely locked behind a mask of irritation.

"FUCK YOU," he said. He pressed his lips to Eridan's, crude and graceless. Eridan reeled until the moment passed and Karkat was walking away. They touched a finger to their lips, wondering at how soft Karkat's lips were. A rumble built in their core, pure energy growing and sending every atom in their body aquiver. Their eyes changed, white spheres turning yellow with proper pupils as they forgot they were dead. As they had never before felt so alive.

**Author's Note:**

> Edited by LumenInFusco


End file.
